The cheery echoes of the circus carousel rattled the innards of Jasper’s painted white ears. Outside, it spun around churning out an up and down melody with the promise of joy. Behind it were the undertones of enmity. Presently, Jasper was hidden from the crowds and the other performers in his stinky clown sanctuary. A tent of the lowest caliber. It was adorned with half-broken cots and musty old crates. Rips in the canvas walls gave Jasper worry. Anybody could look inside and laugh at the poor clowns. The carousel music continued.
“Come on guys, like we practiced!” Jasper shouted out. The clowns were piling into their car, albeit not very efficiently. “Am I going to have to get the broom?” Bozo was already inside of the small car, every part of him except his leg. Perhaps his leg refused to be subjected to such a disgrace of elbow room, while the rest of the body had lower standards, even the elbows. The other clowns stood with their asses to the wall as if their upper half had been devoured by the car windows.
“Jasp, I dunno, maybe we will have to go with one less clown or ditch the car all-together” Rufus said. He had pulled his head and left arm out of the car and slowly and painfully twisted his neck to view his brother. “I think the boys have collectively packed on a few pounds.”
“Hey!” said Marbles.
“Rufus we are using the car,” Jasper said bluntly. “Now put your head in Bozo’s armpit and contort your crotch into Jingles’s knee.”
“Maybe this isn’t even worth it,” said Bozo.
“Yeah the laugh is remedial at best,” Marbles said. “Do we even need an entrance? I’m okay with a shitty entrance.”
“Damnit guys, it’s funny. Come on,” Jasper responded. The clowns continued to shift their bodies uncomfortably. Rufus managed to get his whole body inside and was now reaching his arm between Marbles’ legs to grab the door handle. Jasper crossed his arms, pleased for the moment. He then moved his hands to rub his face of the day’s woes and stopped himself: there would be no time to fix his makeup before the show. The boys were mostly in the car by this point, give or take a foot or hand. He made a round of the car, forcefully shoving body parts inwards. His shoves were met with muffled thanks. Once they were all snug and compact inside, he made his journey into the depths of the three sizes too small automobile.
The driver’s side had left over space just enough for him. His entrance rocked the car. Jasper pulled out the regularly sized car keys with the comically oversized keychain and turned them into the ignition. Nothing. Once more, and he recited a short prayer to the circus gods as if they were real or even cared. Nothing. “Shit.” He slammed the dashboard with his fist. The car started with a pitiful putting sound. Cheering erupted from the car, but it was short lived.
Jasper tapped the fuel gage. “We are low as hell on gas,” he informed the crew. His note was met with a series of groans. He moved the end of his long sleeve up to view his wristwatch. “There’s time… Ripplet will probably still be in his trailer. Am I good on my right?”
Bozo had his face pressed up against a window and muttered a response as best as he could. “You’re clear.”
The miniature car puttered off, blowing small blasts of black smog behind it. Jasper drove out of the communal clown tent, which was dark and dusty, and into the hot grassy field that the Simon Bros. Circus had set up on. The light from the outside world made Jasper squint. Such a glare. He could barely see two feet in front of him. Jasper took the car behind the larger tents—the backroads of sorts. There were customers on grounds, and he didn’t want to spoil the show for them. The wheels of the small car kicked up a bunch of dirt which added to the exhaust that followed them.
Ahead of him he could see a trailer. On the side of it was a crude depiction of a man flying through the air with a starred red helmet on his head. His painted mustache was flowing in the artistic wind and he smiled. It seemed like he was looking right at the viewer. Above the flying man were some letters which read: “The Great Invincible Man of Short Stature.” Except, the word “Great” was crossed out and replaced by the words “So-so.” As well somebody had put an X through the “In” in “Invincible,” so it just read “vincible.”
Jasper pulled up next to it and honked his horn. It made a comical tooting sound, but at least it was loud. The door of the trailer swung open, and in its stead was a dwarf in his underpants. He brushed his hands over his curly mustache and then made a few hops down the stairs that led to his door. Meanwhile, Jasper began rolling his window down—which was a difficult task with the lack of space. The dwarf looked inside the windows of the car at the clowns stuffed together and snickered. He didn’t even have to jump or stand on his tiptoes to view inside the car for it was his size. Jasper called out to him, “Over here.”
The dwarf walked over to the driver side window and leaned against the door. “What do you want?” he asked.
“We don’t have enough gas for the show, we were wondering if you had any for a refill? It being your car ‘n all.”
“Bonkers right? Or wait, no no no, Bloppers, Bl- Blop. Blop, that’s your name right?”
“Actually it’s Blip. Uh, Blip the clown.” Jasper gave him a tactical nose squeeze complete with a feint honk.
“Okay well, uh, I don’t have a ton of gas left, and I pay for this gas with my own paycheck you know? I can’t just give it to you. I mean shit Blink, Mr. Simon already made me let you clucks use it for the show—”
“It’s Blip.”
“That’s what I said. Anyways, you gotta give me something, I dunno, five bucks? You got that?”
Jasper pondered for a moment. He had but three dollars to his name. “I’ll tell you what, tiny man. I’m in a rush, I don’t have a fiver, but I have a twenty-dollar bill back in my quarters. I have no way to split that. So I got nothing for you, I’ll just try to make it through the show without the gas. Thanks anyways…”
As if he were already in the big top, Jasper feigned an overexaggerated movement to suggest his departure. Although he knew full well his part of the act.
Then, on cue: “Wait, uh, clown. Hold on. How about uh, how about I’ll give you some gas right now cause show’s gotta go on. This train wreck has gotta last me to Cali, but later, you’ll come by and give me the twenty bucks for the gas? Okay? I’ll top you off. Hows’zat?”
What’s the term? Jasper thought to himself. Oh right: Sucker. “I don’t know, Ripplet…” he said.
“Okay wait, I’ll fill you up right now, and you can owe me the twenty later. Ten for the gas, ten for the rush service? Eh?”
Jasper shrugged. “I suppose that might work, sure. Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Just slip the bill under the door when you come alright?”
“Sure…”
The dwarf walked around the back of his trailer and returned with a small gas canister. He carried it with his left arm, the weight of it didn’t even seem like a strain to his small muscles. All he did was snicker at the clowns in the car and tap the glass like they were fish in a bowl. Then using both his arms he hoisted it up and began filling the car with gas.
“What’s in Cali?” Jasper asked him.
“What?”
“You said something about California…”
“No I didn’t.” He shook the gas canister. “There, that should be enough for the show. Good luck out there, boys. Remember Blimp, underneath the door.” Jasper nodded at him and rolled the window up before starting the car again. Ripplet was climbing back up the steps to his trailer when the clown car pulled away. Jasper chuckled to himself.
“Brother, you don’t have that kind of cash,” Rufus said.
“Doesn’t matter Roof, nobody cares about us, we might as well be invisible to them.”
“They might care about their money,” Rufus grumbled.
They puttered into the big top as quickly as they could. They were just in time. The car peeled into the spotlight just as Mr. Simon finished saying “Send in the clowns!” and it sounded like a full house. The spotlight followed the car out into the middle of the gigantic circus arena, where Jasper got out of the car. He waved enthusiastically at the crowd. There was no way for him to see their many faces, but he could make out their darkened figures. Clapping, lots of clapping. If Jasper listened closely, he could hear the screams of the children and some of the ladies as well. He chose not to listen to the screaming though.
Jasper gestured towards his car. Just like they rehearsed, nobody got out. He put his pointer finger in the air before banging on the roof. Then he made another overly exaggerated gesture towards the car.He banged on the top of the car once again, then made a third gesture towards it. Laughs erupted from the crowds. “Jasp we’re actually stuck for real this time,” came Rufus’ voice. He was whispering even though there was no way the audience could hear them.
Improvising, Jasper made an over exaggerated stomp on the ground, which kicked up some dirt. Laughs. He reached one arm into the air and rolled up his sleeve, then did the same with the other. Stomping some more, Jasper marched to the car door and flung it open. He grabbed an arm that was nearby and held on with both of his hands.
The maneuver was difficult but the laughs came easy. The first foot was easy, he set it right on the side of the car. It was the second foot that was tricky. To make it symmetrical, being a show-and-all, Jasper put his left foot on the side of the car so that the only thing that was holding him up from the ground was his grasp on the clown arm. He thought maybe it belonged to Bozo but there was no way to be sure. With all his might, he pulled on the arm. Whomever owned the arm wailed in despair, or at least tried to. Jasper suspected his mouth may have been shoved into somebody’s belly. “We’re so fucked,” somebody said.
The crowd loved it though. Everybody was bursting out laughing at the calamity of the silly clowns. They laughed even harder when Jasper finally managed to pull them out. Clowns rained from the mini car. All at once they toppled outwards, landing on top of one another. Everybody got pummeled in at least one part of their body by another part of somebody else’s body. They were all in pain, but they could only show it if it was funny.
Rolling on the ground, Jasper freed himself from the pile. He jumped up and brushed all the dirt off his clothes. With an extravagant motion his arms raised into the air and he made a bow, making sure to twirl his hand as he did so. For the crowd, he turned around as if to present his crew only to “realize” that they were all on the ground. Jasper pretended to pull his hair out in frustration and kicked Rufus. It turned out not to be Rufus, however. “Watch it!” Jingles said. Then the clown patrol all quickly stood up and lined single file. Together they saluted their clown commander.
As Jasper marched in front of them—each step lifting his leg up until it made a 90-degree angle with his body—the clown posse took turns making silly faces at him from behind. It built up until Bozo kicked his back side. The crowd of course burst into fits of laughter as the clowns took turns kicking him, spitting on him, or hitting him in the head with clubs. It was a game, kind of. At least afterwards, Jasper got to bop each clown on the head in retaliation.
The “really funny” part, at least to the audience, came when they pretended to put out a building that was on fire. The fire was lit by Rufus who snuck out of the spotlight for a moment. Jasper and the clowns took turns throwing buckets of water anywhere except the fire, especially on each other. It all culminated when Jasper’s sleeve caught. He ran in circles frantically, waving his arms. The act called for the clowns to continuously miss him with the buckets of water just like they did with the building. This particular show they seemed to be taking longer than usual to douse him, and the fire was starting to burn his arm. If it wasn’t for Rufus with the clutch 9th inning bucket throw, he might have had to find a hospital.
At the end, they all lined up once more, this time as a team, to bow to the howling audience. Naturally they would pat each other on the back, and this would knock a few of them to the ground. Marbles gave him a hard thrust and Jasper landed face first in a puddle of mud. He felt it ooze around the crevices of his head. Mucky dirt seeped its way into his nostrils and ears.
That was the show.
That was his act.
A display of grandiose and over the top buffoonery.
There Jasper lay—or rather Blip the Clown. Bruised and beaten, covered in dirt, and faced with a clapping audience full of laughs and screams. Somehow their cheering didn’t exactly sound like cheers. As he stood up the mud slipped over his eyes—so that even it seemed the spotlight had shunned him.
It was sure to smear his makeup. He hoped that he would be able to make it back to their tent without any customers seeing him so he could fix it before the afternoon show. Where he could endeavor to do the whole thing all over again.
Adam McDonald 